i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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