babies were throwing up all over the place
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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