Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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