i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
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