Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
