Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
