i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
