i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
