if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
