This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
