doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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