420 ftw
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
