dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Drake has all the answers
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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