she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
