yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
