quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
