Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
