By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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