check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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