hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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