i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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