matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
