Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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