where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
