As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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