I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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