I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
