I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
