no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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