Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
