I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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