I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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