ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
