he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Come share oat with me in your robe
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
