wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
