If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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