We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
