he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
