You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Small penises have feelings too.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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