Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
