I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
