He asked me if I "almost moaned"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
