but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
