Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I believe in your delicious
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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