We're like a lot better than the average bears
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
