Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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