Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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