she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
