i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
