How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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