if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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