brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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