oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
